Intermission: The Weight of Yoga In The Modern World
May 11, 2017
When the dust settles on any aspect of my life at any given time, pinned in place behind all layers to be revealed with no further supportive substrate is what I call my yoga experience to be revisited time and again, deeply and ever deeper. This is my fact, an identifier of my life, something more real and true than even the truths of my life before it. The one answer to why this is can only be because yoga has shown me my existence outside of life, outside of time, beyond this life and into death, and a comfort in that connection. When you take all friends, family, individuals known and unknown out of the storyline purposefully to create the sense of not only solitude but a lone existence, that part of the mind that always crops up when you have to test just how truly independent you really are so you imagine how long you think you would survive if not another soul was there to help you, share any time with you, meet with you, or even see you, in that pure helpless scenario yoga emerges as the warm friend to console, advise, inform, support, nourish, and ultimately rescue from any possible calamity either real or imagined. With much of today’s pathology of man and woman residing squarely in the mind and extending into the physical world, both real and imagined situations have equal weight in posing danger and illness not only to the individual but all of society.
We are all connected no matter how much we repeatedly convince ourselves that we can’t be and don’t want to be for any number of possible selfish reasons, and yoga is unmistakably the clearest and strongest way to stay connected even in the stark helpless loneliness of dying alone; but this state is not guaranteed even in the yoga community among all the yoga practitioners, it isn’t a given that this is understood and experienced, to be assimilated into daily memory and being, the most important message falling on not only deaf ears but forgetful minds. It is in this fault of the current decades-long resurgence of yoga across the globe into western cultures that lies my focus on what is left of the core message of yoga that all seek and few seem to find in the confusion of fitness fads, distracting gymnasium classes, trendy diluted offshoots of yoga to feed to the masses, presumptions of religious connotations, pit stops for injured dancers, false guru creations and followings, and contortionist training groups. When the dust settles on all of these distractions, there are a few people who somehow stay away from them and get the real message in the experience at the seat of their being during moments in the practice. These few do nothing special or spectacular, they just pay close attention and actually do what all who enter can learn to do. The rest simply have been distracted and faked it while at the very most being able to say they were in attendance. Just because you were there physically doesn’t mean there’s anybody home upstairs in the secret attic closet whose door is covered in cobwebs and settled debris, evidence that there wasn’t even a recent attempt to look inside.
So now back to the importance and what the message is for modern people: Yoga is the great deprogrammer. Without removing the layers of scar tissue, dysfunction, pathology, memories, programming, personality-splintering trauma, etc., that makes each one of us unable to be us and therefore false representations of humanity because we are only operating as sums of layered programming from birth all through adulthood handed down from family and environment, how can any of us expect to be anything but a worse facsimile of the broken generations that came before us?
Erase. Rewind. Restore. Run. This is the most profound message I have gotten from Yoga, and it need not be anything else. You can talk all you want about all the peripheral distractions of Yoga that are not even remotely related to this message and get lost in your pleasure seeking narcissism that hides in “your yoga” as a predator does in concealment of night, shadow, and cover while lying to yourself and hoping nobody finds out, or you can seek a silent room for a short time and look yourself straight in the eye in the mirror of introspection and actually help yourself be you for once and allow it to spread to all of humanity. This is what both excites me as the most important priority of potential that is most often overlooked and dismissed, and equally dismays me with no hope for humankind even as I look within those barefoot disciples sitting on rubber mats. When the dust settles and I embrace my sorrow in joyful happiness, Yoga emerges again, as it always does. Now another level deeper, alone and helpless, Yoga is there.
So what becomes of this? If I can’t connect in plain as day face to face alert contact with people, that is not enough concern to give up and throw it all away. The waking consciousness of walking and talking is but one small part of consciousness as any Yoga practitioner knows, and it is the one most expected to fail so all is as it should be. My focus is now shifting into advancing all other aspects of consciousness, the ones that work on the waking mind and define its operation through habit, behavior, and ultimately ability to be attentive or to simply attend. Here is my hope, here is my goal, here is my connection to all that is, here is where truth sits undisturbed. I go there, I’ve been there, it is where you will find me, and it will be easy because I can tell you without hesitation that it is poorly attended. Members only.
Your Band Sucks
March 15, 2014
Even if you don’t have a band, and most of us don’t, there are individual components that make up who you are, and if they aren’t playing in concert together, your band sucks. To clarify, let me begin by defining a word that bothers me, then I’ll get back to how your own personal one-man-band sucks (hopefully not). There is one word I dislike as much as the word Yoga because of its connotations. I may dislike it more, but not by enough to discern at this point, and that word is spirituality. Yoga and spirituality go together, and in one subjective viewpoint they can be obvious and beautiful; but in another, the skeptic, doubtful, close-minded viewpoint, a misguided or misunderstanding one, the two words together are ugly and laughable, a point of embarrassment for anyone who dares use them without joking. So which is correct? Probably neither, and it is irrelevant. It is the differing comprehension of the meanings of these words that is at fault, much like when using the word God.
So, onward we proceed to discuss not God, not the creation of the universe nor the creation of the creation of the universe of the universe. Let us first agree that the human body is a thing, much like all things are things, but the human body has the appearance of a unique identity through a complex collaboration among different areas of that body, performing specialized tasks. To be a person, with a name, and unique identifiers to be singled out from any other similar other human being, even a genetic clone like a twin, is the result of a whole that is clearly greater than the sum of its parts.
We can compartmentalize these parts into three categories, thereby simply adding the sum of only three parts, and coming up with one whole that is greater than the sum of these three parts. This whole we will call the fourth part, slightly greater than any human body, yet fully containing the whole human being. This fourth part is the right of every person, the skill of utilizing these three parts of the human body no matter if your body feels lacking in some way, and this fourth part is also absent from many people who do not understand how to be alive in the sense of making themselves whole. The three parts identified are the Intellect (the mind), the Body (the entire physical mass of your living flesh that occupies space), and the Heart (the emotions that are felt). We can say Mind, Body, and Heart while understanding the delineations of how these three do not overlap each other even though the words can be confusing if we think the mind is the brain which is part of the body and the heart is in the body so it is all body. But, just as the mind is separate from the brain, and emotions are separate from the heart itself, these assumptions are misleading and the delineations should be recounted or simply different words used.
Now with these three parts defined, dwell on your own experience of owning and using them. Confirm that you have them and define them within you. See that they are separate and individual. Also see them in the next closest people in your life and think about how they are expressed so that you perceive them. Think of every human being on this planet as owning, using, and expressing these three aspects of their being that contain everything that is who they are. That’s right, now back to you, everything about who you are is contained in these three categories independently expressed by you out in the world.
Now if these three things that make up all of you are used together, sympathetically, they resonate into something bigger and greater and unexpected, a greater whole. What this means is that when using the Mind and being aware of the Body and Emotions, not just being all-Mind, or all-Body, or all-Emotion, all three aspects of you are included in everything you do or don’t do. When you live this way, a greater whole emerges in a wisdom state, a knowing that is mind-knowing, body-knowing, and heart-knowing, so you KNOW with not just your little 3 pound brain and your Mind, but you know completely, with your whole self. This knowing which is still you, not God or even a god, not the universe or any universe, but you. This “you” is spirituality.
Now look up the definition of spirituality as all popular dictionaries define it. Here is an example, and see how wrong, confusing, and lacking of explanation the definitions are in comparison to the above:
World English Dictionary
spirituality (ˌspɪrɪtjʊˈælɪtɪ) | |
— n , pl -ties | |
1. | the state or quality of being dedicated to God, religion, or spiritual things or values, esp as contrasted with material or temporal ones |
2. | the condition or quality of being spiritual |
3. | a distinctive approach to religion or prayer: the spirituality of the desert Fathers |
4. | ( often plural ) Church property or revenue or a Church benefice |
spir·it·u·al·i·ty [spir-i-choo-al-i-tee] Show IPA
noun, plural spir·it·u·al·i·ties.
1.
the quality or fact of being spiritual.
2.
incorporeal or immaterial nature.
3.
predominantly spiritual character as shown in thought, life, etc.; spiritual tendency or tone.
4.
Often, spiritualities. property or revenue of the church or of an ecclesiastic in his or her official capacity.
It really is no wonder that the word spirituality makes people like me cringe and the misuse of the word, or should I say the disuse of spirituality as the fourth sum of everyone’s three parts, is ruining its own chances. One very welcome benefit of living with spirituality realized within yourself is the independence of the self. Many people without understanding spirituality are too dependent on one or more of other people’s three parts, pulling and draining from them what their own body craves naturally, the greater sympathetic resonance of all three categories of self. In using the word resonance, it applies to the way sound energy resonates objects and causes them to ring at their resonant frequencies. Your three parts can be focused to ring at their resonant frequencies to the highest extent of their amplitude like three notes being played on an instrument, or like three instruments being played together in concert. Within each of us is a trio of musicians dying to play together the most beautiful music imaginable at the loudest volume. When they don’t it’s like your band sucks because they’re each only interested in their own terrible solo projects. So when you see somebody lacking in spirituality, don’t even try to talk new-age mumbo jumbo, just know that their band sucks, and no one is coming to their shows.
The Desolation Of I
February 21, 2014

Death Plan
February 12, 2014
There is nothing more certain than your death. However, in this time that you are alive, the true certainty is that you are living. While you are still here, you need a death plan. I don’t mean anything that has to do with the material and financial, I mean a spiritual death plan. Although your death is certain, and planning is helpful, it is the antithesis of being present in the now. By planning your experience of death on the inside, alone with yourself now just the way you will have to face death, you can happily leave this living world without loose ends and hoping for more of the life you still wish you had left. This death plan is one that is pointless to try to share with anyone because it is not relatable to anyone else’s unique life and death experience. However, we can all go out content with smiles on our faces if we have a healthy death plan, and this is part of the inclusive experience of yoga, if not one of its crowning characteristics.
I admit, I may be a unique situation. After I explain myself, I may also be nothing special. To put it bluntly, I should already be dead. I could have died many different ways in my short life thus far. Luckily for me, by the age of 23 I understood and accepted death as a very real possibility and felt my mortality way before I hit 30. My most debilitating experience was when I was in the prime of my youth, full of energy and enthusiasm, yet for months steadily began feeling like I had no will to engage in physical activity, woke up not tired but weak, and I felt most of the bones in my body aching as if the marrow itself hurt, but not any of my joints. Due to testing difficulty at the time, no blood tests came back positive for the possible culprit, Lyme infection. I had to go on for weeks longer hoping this would just come to pass because I was young and healthy and strong, but I felt like the world itself was passing me by and just walking was a chore, to say the least. Eventually another test came back with more positive results and I was lucky enough to have standard doxycycline capsules bring me back to the world of the living within three or four days of a two week cycle. It was so bad that I still felt incredibly weird and not normal, but I could tell there was a change, a spark of a tiny hint of a flame that was previously out cold. Nobody could look at me and tell what I was experiencing in my body, the pains I would endure and have to put on an act to fit in with the normal and healthy world of which I used to be a contributing member. I’d say it took me about seven years before I was no longer regularly reminded of the infection through varied unexplainable pains. When I was most ill, a few months into it, I would play a game with myself just to cope with the discomfort, counting how many seconds would go by before I felt another sharp pain anywhere on my body that would stop my mind in its tracks. I would only get as far as counting to four usually, sometimes less.
For some reason, the standard antibiotics worked for me but others are not so lucky. Since I’ve been infected almost twenty years ago, I’ve learned a lot about the bacteria. The Lyme bacteria is a spirochete that burrows into all living tissue, forming what feels like a neural network of whole-body microscopic torture, and it could be different for everyone because of the variables. I could have suddenly died of heart failure or brain damage. My blood tests to this day show antibodies for Lyme, and with an illness whose victims can be treated like they need psychiatric evaluation because doctors don’t believe they are ill at all, confirmation is a good place to start.
I didn’t even know what yoga was at that time, but that small brush with a downward spiral into oblivion helps me to connect with my spiritual death plan during meditation. I know that I can own my death, be in command of my powerful exit from this body, free and strong in a way I could only imagine now while being alive, where my freedom and strength are clearly defined and limited. By drawing upon death, I can aim for a more accomplished life. I’ve seen people on their death beds whining, squirming, and sobbing for more life, admitting where they messed up and could have had ten more glorious years of health, reluctantly facing death with regret in this life. This won’t be me, because I should already be dead.
If you haven’t already, for information and personal stories from people infected with Lyme, go to underourskin.com, or see the documentary Under Our Skin.
Free Yourself From Within
December 12, 2013
Like the tattoo on Thomas Edison’s forearm depicting a quincunx pattern that can be left open to interpretation, so too does every moment of our existence tell the tale of either subjugated confinement or an excursive impatience fueled with limitless creation. The only difference may be who is doing the looking, the seeing, the observing, and whether they see a propitiated projection resulting in judgement that can swing easily one way or another, or an unbiased, non-judgmental view. It is precisely for this reason that judgement should begin solely as self judgement, and preferably should also end there. The famous maxim, “If you can’t change the world, turn within and change yourself”, is a simple observance on the futility of using arrogance as a bastion to defend self-centered idealistic views disguised as character markers, imposing them quietly on all who don’t meet a narrowly defined set of criteria, in effect mirroring the already flawed self like a reflective array dispersed across the globe in place of every other living human being, leaving no real people in its place and nothing left to learn or wisdom to gain. In other words, few change the world, yet everyone wants to and is set up to fail miserably with the first attempted step, tripping over one’s own foot, catching the fall with a knee, thrown forward with inertia desperately seeking retaliation from an elbow on the ground, all before a split second later the jaw, teeth, and fleshy facial protrusions all impact with the required force to finally put an end to what seemed at first like a wonderful idea.
The artistic metaphor of judgement of others by mere human beings is most often a flaying, or skinning alive. Whether referring to Michelangelo’s “Last Judgement”, or Rabbi Akiva as discussed in the Talmud, being flayed for publicly teaching Torah, the affiliation between judgement and a most horrendous end is quite clear. Consider what wasteful displays of pseudo philanthropy occur with each person vowing to contribute to changing the world for whatever reason, only to stand concretized in immoveable inflexibility and reticent resistance to change in any way with regard to the deepest, most intimate and defining self. This, it seems, is the human condition, yet we have a choice to do otherwise. It may however feel like a dream in which you are desperately running in slow motion or crawling on all fours through thick particulate sand-like earth, taking altogether too long and going nowhere fast until your loudest inner voice begins to console you about giving up and how quitting and admitting defeat is all right because it’s the only thing left after you’ve suffered for so long, yearning for relief. But this is the misconception; it is not the relief you are searching for. Relief will be attained by moving forward, continuing through the pain until you can smile through it and learn to await and desire it, see it as your trouvaille, and in that you are set free to attain your just rewards, unburdened by what falls away as the imperfect misjudgments of others unnecessarily attached to your shoulders, relieved at last.
Constant change, adaptation to the self judged condition, newer perspectives revealed and customized by the richness of wisdom, the discovery and removal of ballasts and moorings that hold you in one place, these simple notions can free an otherwise caged animal destined to remain so until death.
The Sound Of Importance
November 27, 2013
Sound can be sacred. In the presence of noise pollution, the absence of sound is sacred. Both are equally important. The misuse of sound can cheapen the experience of sound in general. Your life has a soundtrack, and it is important.
When you are done planning your life’s daily egotistical considerations with the soundtrack of horrible music made by superficial people who can barely string any sense of comprehension together, it is important to take stock of what your life is really about, and hopefully you have some important music, or some important silence while you do so. You are a sensitive organism designed to set itself to external cosmic events and adapt to the constantly changing environment. When people around us affect our environment and they are living empty or unbalanced lives based on meaningless material priorities leading them on a leash, we can easily be thrown into that vortex of distraction, requiring recalibration of the conscious mind to a state of unadulterated purity. This can be done with the cessation of thought and the careful use of sound.
Sounds of nature that are tens of thousands of yeas old and more are important, helping to reach back into our genetic past that is aware of these sounds on a limbic level of deep subconsciousness. Sounds like wind, rain, the ocean waves crashing, big undeniable sounds. Even in absolute silence we can easily imagine these sounds and have them comfort and aid our inner reflection for undistracted sight.
Although you may not be taking part in it, your human physiology has thousands of generations of genetic coding within you already programmed to unleash the dance that is the music of the universe, waiting to be unlocked. All you have to do is challenge yourself to do what you once thought impossible, or that you in your narrow view of yourself considered incapable of, because most often we are wrong when we say no to accomplishing great feats.
Unleash the power of sound in your inner code.
Stepping Away From Yoga
September 8, 2013
Yoga is the brain eraser. You don’t come in to a session with yourself in order to leave with more. You step in to let go. The reason you are even seeking yoga is because you have too much weighing you down that is making you ill or has made you ill and you now need restoration. If you are holding on and trying to gain and attain more just like you do in other aspects of materialist life, you have not only been wasting your time and energy but you have also only been feeding your ego the whole time, and most unfortunately not been engaged in yoga at all.
It’s not too late to start with proper and immediate results. The mind, not the brain, but the mind, which is where all of your thoughts exist that scheme, plot, plan, desire, lead to dishonest behavior and selfish habits just to show you what it means to be a typical weak human being among all other weak human beings, must be shut down, disconnected, and erased during each session with yourself. What happens when you do that? The body takes over, with its incredible intelligence, and healing and restoration take place.
And now the point of it all. If you’re doing it wrong, doing it while leaving the mind on and plugged in, with no erasing but instead with more accumulation, you will continue to become addicted and attached to yoga with no progress, no further results, for years and for as long as you live. To progress is to erase with each session little by little until the corrupt data is removed, the reason for seeking yoga in the first place is removed, you live each moment of every day with no weight of a corrupt mind corrupting the body, having with each session with yourself stepped away from yoga and stepped closer to yourself until you can finally walk again undivided and whole. Step away from yoga as you step in and see how much deeper you can live with yourself, what you have been missing in life.