The Best Sex of Your Life

September 29, 2011

Of all the deep, even inspiring, sometimes important and potentially life-changing concepts I’ve deliberately shared with whomever find themselves reading this blog, the most popular by far is the one concerning yoga and the whole-body orgasm. That post was meant to inform in a very short yet comprehensive way anyone interested in the subject, laying a foundation for self-journey to focus on that aspect if deemed necessary.

Presented for the thinking, rational mind, it may leave you wanting for more to satisfy your heart’s mind. This is a place where words are not expressed, where talking serves no purpose, and you fuse your most base and lustful desires into harmony with what your mind can be most at peace. This natural fusion leaves you soothed into stillness, lasting bliss, and a sense of calm that dictates your actions and decisions with confidence backed by wisdom.

In case you weren’t sure how to say that you wanted exactly this, it’s perfectly fine to simply agree with the previous sentence. This is what the whole-body orgasm is, and it is a direct corollary to meditation and its goal, and the physical experience is what is known as, in very plain and flat English, orgasm through sexual intercourse.

Women comprise the majority of western yoga’s identity. It stands to reason then that some of these women may get a small peek of what they are working toward in a yoga class, and caught up in the moment with a plethora of thoughts and concentration combined with physical movement scientifically designed to target, stimulate, strengthen, and awaken sexual energy and the body’s related organs, may experience an orgasm. It helps if there is an instructor that either touches the student or simply exudes just what the female yoga student finds extremely favorable in that “take me I’m yours” kind of way.

This is not the whole-body orgasm, but simply, an orgasm experienced in an unexpected way in an unexpected situation in an unexpected place.  It’s special, certainly, but given some time, that specialness wears off, until maybe it happens again.

Sexually speaking, women are more complex creatures than men. Sex and the desire for sex which leads to the performance of sex exists in the mind for both men and women. But because we are created different, actually exactly opposite of each other physically so that we can successfully couple at the genital region, that life experience as either man or woman, in concert with the mind where sex exists, creates equally opposite viewpoints and conditions that we deem perfect for even entertaining the possibility of sexual union. It is a wonder sometimes that anyone is having sex at all, and because of this, many people aren’t, would like to, and are standing in their own way of experiencing this part of life given to them to enjoy fully and to bring happiness and ecstasy on the deepest level imaginable. People walking in this state radiate a glow that is unmistakable to onlookers, and it is also quite obvious when it is absent. In many ways this is no different from samadhi.

So, back to women and yoga and spontaneous orgasm. What you aren’t being told is that many women have difficulty in the bedroom. Many have partners with whom they can’t even experience orgasm. This is unfortunate, and probably a lot of hard work for their partners to become their sexual heroes. These same women and others with sexual challenges can tend to be the ones having these physical revelations in yoga class, and I don’t want to make any light of it because if they can then translate their revealed path to sexual liberation to the bedroom, or the park, or the parking lot, or a bench on Main St., it’s just another step in the right direction toward the goal. But it’s easy to get stuck in the short-lived pleasure of physical orgasm that stays physical and doesn’t evolve into the unbreakable connection between mind and body, flowing without limitation, ready to be accessed at any time to the full potential of enjoying what this gift has to offer.

Concentrating on the genitalia and keeping the focus there is the mistake that will stop you from experiencing the whole-body orgasm. That piece of information may sound obvious now as it is contained in the words “whole-body orgasm”, but in no way are the genitals to be excluded. A woman by definition of how her body is created to participate in the sexual act is the receiver of her lover’s gifts of attention, desire, unselfish motivation to please and be the creative force behind her sexual pleasure. It can help to envision a woman willing and ready in her sexual pleasure as an instrument like a violin that is anthropomorphically dying to be played by a master’s hands. Indeed, every woman is just such a violin, a beautiful creation of exquisite beauty ready to be caressed by the hands of a talented and skilled lover; but sometimes this violin may need to be retuned, re-stringed, humidified, even repaired by an expert. Women, ask yourselves, “Which kind of violin am I? Am I ready to be played this very instant? Or do I need to work on myself just a little, retune the strings? Do I need more than that, do I need repair by a professional before I am ready to be played wonderfully for hours by my lover, creating the most beautiful music imaginable?”. Men, ask yourselves, “Am I worthy of playing the finest, most beautifully crafted instrument that is perfectly tuned and ready for me to play? If the instrument is just slightly out of tune, can I tune it and then play the most beautiful music imaginable on this almost-ready yet beckoning curvaceous work of art? Or does this gorgeous, precious instrument that has so much potential in it require to be taken in for repair by an expert with the intention of playing sonic masterpieces once it is ready? Lastly, am I talented and skilled enough to take on this task?”. These simple questions can tell you a lot about yourself that either you didn’t know, or have been avoiding, hoping they didn’t really matter. Your Higher Self knows better, and ignoring that wisdom can only go on for so long before it has to be confronted.

Sexually enlightened individuals, a descriptive phrase that singles out a small category of all enlightened individuals, should not be mistaken for perverted people or sex addicts. You can tell quite easily who the perverts and sex addicts are by being driven into conversations or actions steered by them that only stop and rest on the notions of sex, what may lead to sex, promises of sex, and advertisements for great sex. The world is full of these people, and believe me, I wish this world had so many enlightened individuals as it did sexual addicts, deviants, and perverts. Overzealous and overtly religious, or pious people, may even mistakenly call me, this blog entry, and everything to do with yoga a sexual perversion, but let’s not get irrational.

Since sex exists in the mind, keep in mind that sex is simple. If it doesn’t feel simple, then you’re doing it wrong. There may be too many things piled up against your door keeping it closed shut so nobody can get in. Removing all of the things in your mind that are in direct conflict with sex is the only way to get going if the starter pistol is being fired and you’re not running. If you have a tendency to sabotage certain pleasures for yourself, even after removing all the obstacles in your mind you may find other excuses to not enter the race, like “I don’t have my running shoes”. Well, if these kinds of things happen, be honest with yourself, and try barefoot running—you may enjoy it more. The desire has to be there, the willingness to participate in the cosmic symphony that awaits you has to be there, and the person who is your sexual counterpart has to be there to stroke the strings; this is not a one-man, or one-woman show.

So you do yoga. Have you been meditating? No? Oh, sorry, stop reading right here. Once you have all of the above on your plate and ready to be served, that’s where the parallel experience of all of your meditation comes into play to experience the whole-body orgasm. Otherwise you’re standing still on the precipice with nowhere to go but to be left with fully experiencing normal, localized, physical orgasm. It’s okay, billions of people live their entire lives and die experiencing no more than that. Sounds popular. Are you the type of person that makes decisions based on what’s popular, or what is right for you?

I’m not trying to be exclusionary, I’m being discerning and inclusive. This blog is about yoga. People want in on yoga for some reason. Better sex is probably the most easily sellable reason. You can go ahead and have the best sex of your life without yoga just like the billions I described above, and there are plenty of people out there to teach it to you, and maybe even have sex with you along the way. You can even be a person who does yoga and still have the best sex of your life without having yoga impact that aspect of your life.  Seek yoga for sex and all you have is the sex. Seek yoga for yoga, and you have everything imaginable, and more.


October 15, 2010

On our way to samadhi, as humans, there is one most important thing that needs to be understood, clarified, and therefore lived. There is no separation between ourselves and anything or anyone else. Once this comes into focus as a natural point in the mind, and every waking moment is lived remembering and knowing this, acting in a way that this unity of all is apparent, then the life of a Yogi begins to unfold. What this really means in terms of understanding is that Purusha, the Cosmic Intelligence, is what we are, and it is not something separate and removed from us. What matter we are composed of is the least fine matter, the gross matter, which came after Purusha; we were born, exploded out of Purusha, the finest matter that we are composed of, and the science of Yoga teaches us how to stabilize the fine matter that we are, becoming alive in it the way we are already comfortable being alive in our bodies composed of the less fine matter.

The whole material world is really a field of interplay and interaction of innumerable energies. When they are solidified you call it matter, and when not solidified, you call it energy. Einstein made this famous in the scientific world with E=mc2. When energy is not differentiated, you call it space, and beyond space and emptiness or Akasha remains the fountain, the absolute ground of existence, the Purusha. The Purusha and the Prakriti (the Seer and the Matter) exist in you and me on a tiny scale, and as the scale of the cosmos grows larger out from around us, it exists in an ever-increasing bigger form.

Yoga teaches that the goal of human life, our purpose for living, is to understand the nature of Reality. This means understanding the role of matter, understanding the role of energies, and understanding the essence of Intelligence. We human beings feel we are in bondage, slaves of matter, prisoners of mind and thought. There is no slavery, there is no prison house, it is only ignorance. In shedding that ignorance, dissolving it, you can undergo purification and transformation, beginning at the point of perception, beginning at the sense organ level.

This is the point of Asanas and Pranayama. In purifying the mental is the point of Yama and Niyama. For purifying the extra-sensory is Dharana. For the transformation in the whole content of sensory, extra-sensory, and mental, is Dhyanam, or Meditation. With the culmination of this process of purification into Dhyanam or Meditation descends Samadhi, or the transformed consciousness, the last phase. So your mutation into the transformed consciousness is caused by Meditation, which is the stabilizer of your purification that has ascended you through the gross matter existence of your being as Samadhi descends upon you.

Remember that Meditation is the non-doing, and your purification gets stabilized in relaxation, just as the health of the body stabilizes during sleep. For example, eating the best food, doing the best exercises in the world, if you are unable to sleep then there is no health because all that you had acquired through nutrition, exercise, and even positive mindset, it has to stabilize in sleep; it has to percolate throughout each level of the body, the whole metabolism, for you to feel rejuvenated and refreshed. It is the same in Meditation, it stabilizes, rejuvenates, and revitalizes.

Back to the understanding and awareness, which are the finest possible energies available to us, they have to become stabilized, and this is done through Meditation, and in the fusion of the Purusha element, the element of intelligence contained in the human body and the intelligence contained in the cosmos as a whole, there is no separation. They are fused together, no more differentiated. At this point the differentiation was an idea, all in the human mind. That is the state of “Kaivalyam”, that is the culmination of Yoga.